Epiphany

So I had an epiphany today. (I love that word btw). I was watching 27 Dresses in the coldness of my room. Alone. Without kids. Envy me if you dare. I decided that I like that movie and I don't like that movie for the same darn reason. I am that girl! You know the one that can't say no. That is never upset, only tired. Who lets her wants come last. Who doesn't speak up. Well, I don't know if that is going to change too much, but I know that being a martyr is unhealthy, and I have been working on it lately but not hard enough. I had to do something really unpleasant today. I had to make some people grow up. It was not fun for them and not fun for me. We have been trying to get these people to be responsible for themselves for a long long time. They haven't felt the need to be responsible, even though their bad choices were affecting us more than them. They are selfish people and I am sorry for that. But I realized something after watching that movie. It is not my fault if certain people who shall remain nameless are irresponsible. They weren't taught to be irresponsible by me. And if swearing at me makes them feel big and tough and right, that is just a statement on how sad their lives will be until they grow up. Guess what kiddos, you aren't the only fish in the pond. The other thing I realized is that I need to speak up when I know something is wrong and dangerous. I want my voice on the record next time, even if it still goes forward despite my protests. I need to be grown up enough to safeguard my little family no matter what. And believe me, next time, I WILL.